The Pleasures of Sharing Information

When I was a teenager “good kids” had to sneak around to drink and most of them thought drugs were something that only the bad guys in the movies did.

But the media exposes today’s teenagers to substance abuse everywhere they turn. In films drinking and drug abuse are often glamorized by attractive movies stars. When young people see their role models playing addicts but remaining healthy, popular the beautiful, they can lose sight of the dangers of substance abuse.

Many young people have money at their disposal, making it easy to get liquor or drugs. As a result teen addiction and substance abuse has actually become a rite of passage for some wealthy teens.

The media isn’t solely responsible, but if parents can help their teens see the real-world consequences of substance abuse, there’s a fair chance that the good kids will stay that way.

When I was a teenager “good kids” had to sneak around to drink and most of them thought drugs were something that only the bad guys in the movies did.

But the media exposes today’s teenagers to substance abuse everywhere they turn. In films drinking and drug abuse are often glamorized by attractive movies stars. When young people see their role models playing addicts but remaining healthy, popular the beautiful, they can lose sight of the dangers of substance abuse.

Many young people have money at their disposal, making it easy to get liquor or drugs. As a result teen addiction and substance abuse has actually become a rite of passage for some wealthy teens.

The media isn’t solely responsible, but if parents can help their teens see the real-world consequences of substance abuse, there’s a fair chance that the good kids will stay that way.

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A caring lady named Dorothy had enjoyed a rewarding life as a nurse. She lived at the same skilled nursing facility where she had worked most of her life. At 83 years of age, Dorothy had a very important purpose to fulfill, she knew what it was, and she was unstoppable.

Dorothy was one of the most good-humored and memorable people I had ever met. Each day, she would bring cheer to those she spoke with. She traveled the hallways in her wheelchair, stopping at friends’ rooms to tell a joke or offer a cheerful, “Good Morning!”

She would often alert caretakers if a resident was having trouble. She even cheered up the staff members when their day wasn’t going well. Her “pep talks” were timely, entertaining, and effective.

Dorothy’s cheerfulness and empathy for others had an inspiring influence on those around her. If one of the residents was ill, Dorothy would stop by their room with get-well wishes. She often remarked, “I still work here, even during lunch!”

Dorothy had a spirit of Achievement that wouldn’t quit. The same can be true for us–the spirit of achievement can remain strong for life. Whether we dive into ambitious projects or simply bring a smile to others, there will always be ways to enrich the world. One’s purpose can be fulfilled throughout life, in many places, and in many ways.

Achievements don’t need to appear spectacular to be priceless. Somewhere right now, the smallest act of kindness is enriching someone with strength, love and inspiration.

Today, you can bring meaningful change to someone in your unique way, fulfilling your special purpose. Taking systematic, purposeful action, raises the limits on what we are able to accomplish. In this way, we not only achieve goals; we strive for those things we were meant to achieve.

When we know, without a doubt, our reason for living, we can stretch our abilities and accomplish what we can imagine. Best of all, we can continue to fulfill our purposes throughout life.

Marvin J. Ashton (1915-1994) wrote, “Do not doubt your abilities. Do not delay your worthy impressions. With God’s help, you cannot fail. He will give you the courage to participate in meaningful change and purposeful living.”

Consider these questions:

What accomplishments, thus far, are you the most proud of in your life?

What are the greatest gifts you bring to others through the work you do now?

What do you want to achieve that you have not already achieved?

What is the greatest passion in your life, and how could it make a difference in the lives of others, now and throughout your life?

May you be blessed with the rewards and abundance that a purposeful life and a life-long spirit of achievement will bring.

© Copyright 2006 by Steve Brunkhorst. Steve is a professional life success coach, motivational author, and the editor of Achieve! 60-Second Nuggets of Inspiration, a popular mini-zine bringing great stories, motivational nuggets, and inspiring thoughts to help you achieve more in your career and personal life. Get the next issue by visiting http://www.AchieveEzine.com.

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Time Management Successful Living

By Chuck Groot

People might say to me, “Chuck, it’s nice to say that we learned
all this great stuff about planning and goal setting, but let’s
face it, I don’t have time to do this on a regular basis!”

So, (one might ask) how do we get all this done and still have
time left at the end of the day for ourselves and our family?

I know that you have heard about time management, but do you
really know how easy it is to do?

Do you know how much time you can actually save by applying it?

If you do, why are you not applying it?

If you don’t know how much time you can really save and do
something you enjoy with it, charge ahead and learn how.

Have you ever heard the old saying that: “If you want to get
something done - give it to a busy person?” How can that be you
ask when God gave us the same 24 hours in a day? The secret is
not how much time we have, but how we use it!

What are the reasons that people run out of time and don’t get
much accomplished?

Many people spend time on things that are not important. These
concerns may seem important at the time, but I am reminded of
what my pastor loves to ask, “What is the better question?” The
better questions is, “What is the most important thing that I
should work on right now that would advance my company or get me
closer to my goals?”

Often people spend a lot of time worrying about the problems
that occurred because they didn’t plan! When you are busy
putting fires out because you didn’t spend the time to properly
organize, you end up running around a lot more, don’t you?

Another reason is that people spend trying to decide what to do
next. Now that excuse sounds silly, but if you think about it,
if you don’t know where you are going, it is difficult to decide
which way to take, isn’t it? Often, people remain undecided to
the extent that they don’t have time left over to do things they
should do.

A really common reason people don’t get much accomplished is
that they let other people dictate what they should do. How
often do you hear someone come up to you and say, “We have a
problem”? Usually it is their problem, but they expect you to
help them solve it.

Last, (although there are a lot more), if you don’t plan your
time, it is really easy for other people to take it. It is so
easy for you to get distracted by someone else when you have no
real hard and fast reason to get on with what you are doing,
other than the fact that you are doing it. If you had a plan, it
is so easy to tell someone, “I’m sorry but right now I need to
get this done because I have an important deadline to meet.”
Doing so is made much easier by the fact you have set both goals
and a date by which you want to accomplish them. Moreover, your
confidence is boosted by your certainty that those plans and
goals are important!

International training company Priority Management systems has
poem in their daily planner that is quite appropriate:

Take time to think. It is the source of power Take time to play.
It is the secret of perpetual youth Take time to read. It is the
fountain of wisdom Take time to laugh. It is the music of the
soul Take time to work. It is the price of success Take time to
give. It is too short a day to be selfish Take time to pray. It
is the greatest power on Earth

Time management is comprised of these 10 essential factors:

Clear Specific Goals: know what you want. You already have these
written down from Chapter Two On. Doesn’t that feel great to
know?

Have clear specific plans on how to get your goals accomplished.
Wow. You have done this too.

Make a list every day of all the things that you must do.

The best time to do this is at the end of the day.

Pick the six most important things that need to get accomplished
and write them on your list of things that need to get
accomplished today. There are three great benefits to this:

You won’t lose any precious sleep thinking about what you have
to do because your subconscious will know that you have them all
listed and it won’t worry about forgetting them.

You won’t be running around trying to remember what you had
forgotten because, since it was written down, there is no need
to waste time trying to remember.

You won’t clutter your mind with a lot of details or petty
information - once you write it down you can forget about it. If
something comes up during the course of the day, rather than
doing it or forgetting about it, write it down on the bottom of
your list so that it can be included on your list of priorities
for tomorrow.

The critical idea here is to keep focused and working on the
most important items.

Prioritize each item on the list in order of importance. I
actually have a list with everything that I need to do.

I list them in groups of “A”, “B”, and “C”.

A’s are essential and must be done as soon as possible.

B’s are secondary,

C’s are items I will get to when I have extra time.

These groups are then further prioritized with a priority code
of 1 - whatever. 1 being the most important, 2 being second,
and so on.

Always work on the most important item first and stick with it.
Don’t be seduced by doing the easiest or the most fun thing
first. If something stays on my list for more than a month, it
can’t be that important so I eliminate it. Every time I finish a
task, I scratch it off of my list and it is forgotten. This last
step also gives a sense of accomplishment and satisfaction.

So go ahead and take ten minutes and write down the things you
need to do right now. Start small; just do the top six things
that really need to get accomplished. You can increase your list
length when you get into the habit of following this routine.
Yes, this needs to be a habit. Go for it!

Once you have determined your “A”, “B”, and “C” priorities and
then sub-prioritized them 1 to whatever, you can then figure out
how long, approximately, each project will take. This estimate
will help you to plan your day and/or week.

Make life a lot easier right now, get out your day planner and
schedule time to work on these, priorities.

This next suggestion may seem a bit extreme, but the most
successful people I know do the following; they block out time
for appointments, sleep, daily routine, family time, and leisure
time. They also include travel time if appointments are away
from the studio.

It is also a good idea is to block out time on a consistent
basis so that you will be available for consultations, photo
sessions, and sales sessions. Making this schedule will help you
be “in the zone” when it comes to being creative, or selling, or
doing your studies. Many people find it very difficult to change
mindsets on the fly whereas others find it energizing. Which are
you?

There is a powerful psychologically impact achieved when you
concentrate your appointment so that your clients arrive at the
studio around the same time. If your clients see others coming
or going when they are, they will get the impression that you
are very popular and busy. Those may be the only two
appointments you have that day, but your clients don’t know that.

Finally, concentrating appointments together frees up bigger
blocks of time so that you can accomplish a lot with minimum
amount of interruption. Doctors, lawyers and dentists do it all
the time, why can’t you?

Focus on only one job at a time. If you start something finish
it. If you are pulled away from it for whatever reason, get back
to it as soon as possible and finish it. Don’t start “B” until
you have finished “A”, unless you are one of those people who
love to have lots of unfinished projects around everywhere!

Overcome procrastination. Remember the slogan - DO IT! Whatever
you are working on will not go away by ignoring it. DO IT NOW!

When the mail arrives, we know that you have already blocked off
time in your schedule for sorting through it, haven’t you? Scan
through it quickly and do one of three things:

Toss out the junk mail immediately, preferably into the
recycling. Have a file system so that you can put the mail in
the appropriate place to be dealt with in the time you have
scheduled for it. Bills go in the folder to be given to the
bookkeeper or for you to enter into the computer. Cheques should
be recorded immediately - getting paid makes us feel good!
Magazines should be scanned for articles of interest, and these
should be read in the time you have set aside for reading. (By
the way, most really successful people read a book a week.
Learning something that can be used for business, marketing, or
general interest to broaden their horizons.)

If all possible, telephone calls and salesmen should be
screened by your receptionist. Only on rare occasions should you
take the calls immediately. Have your receptionist say that you
are in an appointment - which you are because you have
scheduled one for yourself.

Inform the caller that you will phone back at say approximately
4:00 p.m. Hopefully that will be satisfactory. Then make sure
that you return all your calls at 4:00 p.m. If it isn’t
satisfactory, ask the caller for a time which is preferable or
you can ask them if an email will do the trick.

More time is wasted on the phone than one can imagine. It is
also a good idea to plan your telephone conversations so that
you have control over them. For example, you can write down the
questions that you want to ask and make sure you stick to those.
Remember to keep a phone log handy.

If you plan and budget your time, you will find that you achieve
more and that you will have more time to yourself. Try it! You
might like it!

Permission to use the poem was granted by Dr. Dan Stamp of
Priority Management Systems.

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We are a pleasure seeking society. Most of us spend our energy seeking pleasure and avoiding pain. We hope that by doing this, we will feel happy. Yet deep, abiding happiness and joy elude so many people.

There is a huge difference between happiness and pleasure. Pleasure is a momentary feeling that comes from something external - a good meal, our stock going up, making love, and so on. Pleasure has to do with the positive experiences of our senses, and with good things happening. Pleasurable experiences can give us momentary feelings of happiness, but this happiness does not last long because it is dependent upon external events and experiences. We have to keep on having the good experiences - more food, more drugs or alcohol, more money, more sex, more things - in order to feel pleasure. As a result, many people become addicted to these external experiences, needing more and more to feel a short-lived feeling of happiness.

Thomas sought my counseling services because he “had everything” - his own successful business, a lovely wife and children, a beautiful home, and time to enjoy life. Yet he was not happy. While he had momentary feelings of happiness while watching a ball game or socializing with his friends, he also felt anxious and depressed much of the time. In fact, the anxiety had become so bad that he was having almost constant stomach pain, which his doctor told him was from stress.

As we worked together, it became apparent that Thomas’s main desire in life was to have control over people and events. He wanted others to do things his way and to believe the way he believed. He was frequently judgmental with his employees, wife, children and friends, believing that he was right and they were wrong and it was his job to straighten them out with his judgment and criticism. His energy would become hard and tough and he would be like a steamroller in his efforts to get his point across and get others to do things his way. When it worked and others gave in, Thomas felt a momentary pang of pleasure. But the pain in his stomach kept getting worse and worse, which is why he decided to consult with me.

Thomas also wanted control over his own feelings, and would often judge himself as harshly as he judged others in an effort to get himself to perform well and feel okay. He especially judged himself harshly when he felt rejected by others, frequently telling himself that he was an inadequate jerk.

As we worked together, Thomas began to see that happiness is the result of choosing to be a kind, caring, compassionate and gentle person with himself and others - quite the opposite of the judgmental, controlling person he had chosen to be. Thomas learned that happiness is the natural result of being present in each moment with love and kindness toward himself and others, rather than with being attached to the outcome of things and trying to control the outcome regarding events and others’ behavior. He discovered that he felt deep joy whenever he let go of control and chose caring instead. The anxiety in his stomach went away whenever his intention was to be a kind and caring person rather than a controlling one.

It is not easy to shift out of the deep devotion to control and become devoted to love and compassion toward oneself and others. Our ego wounded self has been practicing control since we were very little. Yet the moment our intent is to control, our heart closes and we feel alone and anxious inside. Our intent to seek safety and pleasure through controlling others, outcomes, and our own feelings leads to an inner feeling of abandonment and emptiness. We abandon ourselves when we are trying to control our feelings rather than be kind and compassionate with ourselves. Our anxiety and feelings of emptiness lead to more seeking outside ourselves to fill up with pleasurable experiences. The momentary pleasure leads to addictive behavior.

When the intent shifts out of controlling and not being controlled to becoming loving to ourselves and others, the heart opens and joy is the result. Deep and abiding happiness and joy are the natural result of operating out of the spiritual values of caring, compassion and kindness.

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is the best-selling author and co-author of eight books, including “Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By You?” She is the co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding healing process. Learn Inner Bonding now! Visit her web site for a FREE Inner Bonding course: www.innerbonding.com or mailto:margaret@innerbonding.com. Phone sessions available.(c) Margaret Paul, Ph.D., 2004.

margaret@innerbonding.com

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